Long overdue

I know it has been a long time since I blogged about my life, well overdue for 2 weeks, it's not that long, but I guess for people who comes by my blog, does complain. These 2 weeks had past me by in a blink of eye, so much has happened yet I can't seem to know where to start. Let's start with work, something boring but yet interesting, and then we shall move on to my future life expectations, and also a little bit of emo adding into it.

Firstly, work has been more stress free for the past 2 weeks, my assistant manager is back from her vacation, and with her guiding and assisting me, had help a lot in reducing my mental stress, recently, I have been sleeping like a baby, eating like a pig, and less pimples on my face everyday :) I realised the reasons pimple outbreaks happened so often, is because of the stress and unhappiness coming from my work. However, I have moved on from being unhappy over work, by expressing myself more to my manager, my love ones, and also sometimes through my blog. When you move from being a normal staff to a management level, everything changes, staff that you thought were your friends might no longer be the same, and often a distant need to be kept, it's sad, but it's the reality of life. If they are not mature to think like you, then it's not worth worrying and trying so hard to make a difference. Lesson to be learnt!

I have decided to move out from Docklands, we have managed to find a good 2 bedroom apartment on Collins Street, much closer to work, having to wake up 30 minutes later is awesome! There are many preparations to be done, I am going to have the next 3 months occupied with my new apartment, furniture shopping, work hours extended due to Xmas, and most importantly, my Malaysia trip :) I have less than a month to appreciate my stay in Docklands, I will surely miss the jacuzzi and swimming pool, which I hardly make use of it, and soon I am no longer entitled to it. I have so much to do yet so little time, I need to start packing my personal belongings, apartment inspection and furniture shopping before I leave for Malaysia. We are officially moving out on the 1st Dec to our new place, and I will only be back on the 2ND Dec, which means, my honey bunny will be doing all the hard work! Muaks :) Thanks for doing this! This what I am looking forward to, an apartment by ourselves, and not having to worry about sharing with weird housemate.

I fell sick for the last few days, caught a cold and was really exhausted, but I have been catching up with my sleep, had plenty of water, and now I am feeling much better. Unfortunately, with all these sickness, I am feeling emo and vulnerable, not wanting to go to work, and the shocking point is, I don't even feel like going out, I just want to stay under my blankets and sleep. Has anyone feel like this before?

Finally, I will update about Jacky Cheung concert on my next post, with some pictures and videos that might take some time to upload. I am missing the concert, he is awesome in singing, no sings as good as him :)

Till then, ciao!

Yen

Never a win win situation

It's right that is never easy to manage a team, with different people from different backgrounds, and most importantly, choosing the right way to communicate with the team. Sometimes, I need to be who I am in the store, to manage and guide the team, and yes, there will be times I might have to tell workmates off. Everything I do, are with good intentions, but then, from their point of view, I am classified as the bad person.

I can't satisfy everyone, the way they want to be treated, because I do need to think of myself, my positions and the reason I am doing it. However, I am an emotional person, no matter how hard I try to take emotions away from my decision making, I can't. I know one thing I learn from this situation is that we can never be too close to one person at work, because it will be hard to make decisions and at the end of the day someone might get hurt.

Today, I realised I have never felt this in such a long time, the feeling of not wanting to go to work, the feeling of wanting to let go everything, and just collapse. I called in sick because I did not want to face anyone from work, did not want to pretend, and be jolly, and bury my head with paper works, I just wanted to rest and be myself today. Things will not be that hard, if I could lean on someone to help, to listen, or to let me know that things are going to be alright, and at this point in time, I need my managers to guide me, but then I am left alone.

I guess I have done my best at this point, and I can never be perfect to satisfy everyone, I can't cry at work, because this will prove I am not capable, the only time I can be myself is when I am at home, I let it all out.

Mamacas, Chapel Street

We meet good people as we grow, and there are times we need to part, it's sad, but it's life. I guess I always complain about how bad work is, but I never once did express myself, how happy am I to meet nice and good friends at my work place. It's funny because I see them at work everyday, and when we are working, we are serious, but when we come out together as friends, we have fun, and everything seems different from that perspective.

Zoe, whom I have know for more than a year from work, she is leaving to join Jet Star and no longer with Gucci. We had a farewell dinner yesterday at Mamacas, on Chapel Street, serving great Greek cuisine, it's more of a fine dining but at the same time it's a casual environment. We had wine, saganaki, chicken skewers, meatballs and lamb and what matters most to me, was the company I had. Yesterday night, I felt the stress from work had all disappeared, we did not talk about work, but we had some good conversations about life and food! I will miss Zoe, and I wish her the best of luck in her future with Jet Star, these pictures of us will all remain memorable.

At work, there are always people bitching about each other, we never can have time to sit down and get to know one another, but yesterday was something different. We were ourselves, behaving as good friends, with Zoe leaving us, I realised I should cherish everyone of them because you never know who might leave one day. Here are some pictures I would like to share, there are my colleagues at work and my friends whom I met while working in Gucci. Mind the wine effects, cheeky and red faces :)

Farewell Hug for Zoe

Daphne, Zoe's sister!

A close up of us! Red cheeks!

Cheers!

Rosemary, photo taking fanatic girl :P

Elvira and Takako
















From left: Me, Zoe, Ayako, Ting, and Rosemary

Yen and Tiara

Cheers

Yen

Exhausted and Wrecked

I feel tired, almost everyday, it feels like I can never have enough rest, mentally exhausted and I am going to collapse anytime soon. I hate this job! I have so much to worry, so much burden on my shoulders, I can't rest, and I have no room to breathe. ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH


Can someone help me?

Forever love?

I am really down today. I have come to realise that, these 3 years 7 months is nothing but rubbish. I feel that, there are no trust in us, most importantly, I can't feel it from you. Every weekend, there are something to argue about, from the smallest issue to some of the worst ones. However, whenever I sit down by myself and think, I realised that it has become a norm, and I am starting to feel a little insecure about us as a whole picture. The cries, the feeling of being so unhappy had happen so frequent, and at some stage, I don't know if it's my fault or yours, but I guess it doesn't matter because whenever we see each other, we have something against each other.

Today, I felt disappointment, most of all I don't feel the love, but all I see is you trying to prove yourself right, to the point where you have neglected my feelings, over a small issue. I feel the pressure of using your properties, I feel that these material, no life things are far much more important than me, as a human, alive and needing the special care and attention. I swear if I did have the monetary power, I will never need someone like you, to support and help me, but in return I felt that I have owed you in so many ways. You don't make me feel like you are willing to help me because you love me, but as an obligation, am I right? Today, I feel powerless, threatened, and most of all, I don't feel the love from you, or maybe I have learn to love less?

Every weekend, you have never failed to make me upset, never failed to make me realised that I am beginning to feel insecure, I am really exhausted from all these arguments. Today, I told myself I will be good, just enjoy the great afternoon, and yes, I was looking forward to it, but it doesn't matter, because at the end of the day, you have never failed to prove to me you do not have the intention to have a great day. If we want to continue this journey, there are so much effort to put in it, it's not about playing with your life, and having me to take the risk, whether this is worth the journey, I am tired. I am just human.

Tears are running down my face as I am typing all these, these are true words from my heart. I feel like giving up.


Yen