It's right that is never easy to manage a team, with different people from different backgrounds, and most importantly, choosing the right way to communicate with the team. Sometimes, I need to be who I am in the store, to manage and guide the team, and yes, there will be times I might have to tell workmates off. Everything I do, are with good intentions, but then, from their point of view, I am classified as the bad person.
I can't satisfy everyone, the way they want to be treated, because I do need to think of myself, my positions and the reason I am doing it. However, I am an emotional person, no matter how hard I try to take emotions away from my decision making, I can't. I know one thing I learn from this situation is that we can never be too close to one person at work, because it will be hard to make decisions and at the end of the day someone might get hurt.
Today, I realised I have never felt this in such a long time, the feeling of not wanting to go to work, the feeling of wanting to let go everything, and just collapse. I called in sick because I did not want to face anyone from work, did not want to pretend, and be jolly, and bury my head with paper works, I just wanted to rest and be myself today. Things will not be that hard, if I could lean on someone to help, to listen, or to let me know that things are going to be alright, and at this point in time, I need my managers to guide me, but then I am left alone.
I guess I have done my best at this point, and I can never be perfect to satisfy everyone, I can't cry at work, because this will prove I am not capable, the only time I can be myself is when I am at home, I let it all out.
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