Weird feeling

I am feeling a little down at the moment. I don't know why. I thought I was all good with how my life has turn out to be right now, but there are times I have expectations, and I can't help and think what will happen if things were not done like this.

Everyone thinks we will get back together, because we are still friends, we see each other, we have dinners, we call each other and we still care. Everyone make comments about the fact that we should not be friends that quickly. We should stay away and meet new friends and probably find someone, to be able to move on and have a new life. I don't know what to feel or think at the moment. You have been part of my life for the last 5 years, I am sure if you found someone right now, I will be sad or devastated, because I still care and want to be that special person.

At this age, it feels like I am hanging, I can't seem to go all the way out there and be a different person because I do not want to regret doing things I should not have done. At the same time, I want to meet different people, I want to really know the feeling of falling in love again. I wish this one person will call or ask me out, but it never happens and sometimes I feel I should take the effort and try to be different for once but I never have the guts to do so. And there is this other person, who calls and ask me out all the time, I do go and give it try but there isn't any chemistry.

I know I sound like a 17 year old high school kid who can't decide what she wants but all of us go through this stage all the time and I am one of them. I am naive, I want to meet this one person who I fall in love with and get marry within 2 years when we are still in love. Will this happen?
I believe so BUT at the same time I am just having doubts about finding the person I want to spend my life with.

I think a lot, about stupid things and fantasize ridiculous scenes which normally take me from my reality. Wake up yen! Let things take it stroll.

Sigh...I don't know what I am rambling about but this is one of the moments when you are single and wish you had someone by your side to listen to all these crap.

I miss you right now :(