Love is an addiction, it taste sweet like chocolates and when you have one decent bite, you want more and will not stop indulging till you feel satisfied. That is exactly what love is all about.
Love makes you wonder and think about the person you like.
Love makes you think more than what you should not.
Love makes your heart beat so fast you are afraid it will stop.
Love makes you want to listen to love songs that have the most meaningful lyrics.
Love makes you nervous and probably wondering why you are sweating all the time.
Love makes you wonder if he will ever call or come and see you.
Love makes all possibilities but at the same time love can break your heart to pieces.
Love can make you cry.
Love can break you heart and leave a scar.
As much as I believe in finding the right love, as much as I want to find you, I am not sure if this will come anytime soon.
I like you and that's all it matters right?
The past does not matter, the present is unpredictable, why not look at now?
The past shapes you to be who you are today, and the future is what you want to work towards, can we take one step at a time?
Sunday, September 27, 2009
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Weird feeling
I am feeling a little down at the moment. I don't know why. I thought I was all good with how my life has turn out to be right now, but there are times I have expectations, and I can't help and think what will happen if things were not done like this.
Everyone thinks we will get back together, because we are still friends, we see each other, we have dinners, we call each other and we still care. Everyone make comments about the fact that we should not be friends that quickly. We should stay away and meet new friends and probably find someone, to be able to move on and have a new life. I don't know what to feel or think at the moment. You have been part of my life for the last 5 years, I am sure if you found someone right now, I will be sad or devastated, because I still care and want to be that special person.
At this age, it feels like I am hanging, I can't seem to go all the way out there and be a different person because I do not want to regret doing things I should not have done. At the same time, I want to meet different people, I want to really know the feeling of falling in love again. I wish this one person will call or ask me out, but it never happens and sometimes I feel I should take the effort and try to be different for once but I never have the guts to do so. And there is this other person, who calls and ask me out all the time, I do go and give it try but there isn't any chemistry.
I know I sound like a 17 year old high school kid who can't decide what she wants but all of us go through this stage all the time and I am one of them. I am naive, I want to meet this one person who I fall in love with and get marry within 2 years when we are still in love. Will this happen?
I believe so BUT at the same time I am just having doubts about finding the person I want to spend my life with.
I think a lot, about stupid things and fantasize ridiculous scenes which normally take me from my reality. Wake up yen! Let things take it stroll.
Sigh...I don't know what I am rambling about but this is one of the moments when you are single and wish you had someone by your side to listen to all these crap.
I miss you right now :(
Everyone thinks we will get back together, because we are still friends, we see each other, we have dinners, we call each other and we still care. Everyone make comments about the fact that we should not be friends that quickly. We should stay away and meet new friends and probably find someone, to be able to move on and have a new life. I don't know what to feel or think at the moment. You have been part of my life for the last 5 years, I am sure if you found someone right now, I will be sad or devastated, because I still care and want to be that special person.
At this age, it feels like I am hanging, I can't seem to go all the way out there and be a different person because I do not want to regret doing things I should not have done. At the same time, I want to meet different people, I want to really know the feeling of falling in love again. I wish this one person will call or ask me out, but it never happens and sometimes I feel I should take the effort and try to be different for once but I never have the guts to do so. And there is this other person, who calls and ask me out all the time, I do go and give it try but there isn't any chemistry.
I know I sound like a 17 year old high school kid who can't decide what she wants but all of us go through this stage all the time and I am one of them. I am naive, I want to meet this one person who I fall in love with and get marry within 2 years when we are still in love. Will this happen?
I believe so BUT at the same time I am just having doubts about finding the person I want to spend my life with.
I think a lot, about stupid things and fantasize ridiculous scenes which normally take me from my reality. Wake up yen! Let things take it stroll.
Sigh...I don't know what I am rambling about but this is one of the moments when you are single and wish you had someone by your side to listen to all these crap.
I miss you right now :(
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Time flies
It's been exactly 3 months since we both parted, when I think back about the day you wanted to leave, so many memories come flashing back. What are we now at the moment? Are we having a casual relationship or we are close friends? I am not sure myself. I know I still care for you, and I treat you as a very close friend. I feel comfortable talking to you, I don't have to pretend, and I feel you know me more than anyone else.
I feel there is a heavy burden lifted up from my shoulders when we are no longer together. I think you feel the same as well. We have been carrying these burdens for the last 5 years, and now I have never felt so free and it feels there are so much time around. It's weird how we met 5 years ago, we fell in love, we went through so many ups and downs, and to get through all the obstacles we thought we could. I guess there are some obstacles we can never get pass, you and I know that we will not end up being together forever.
Over the last 3 months, I have been hit with so many different types of emotions. One thing for sure, I have been through the worst, the times when I need to move on and face reality. What does not kill you makes you stronger. Sometimes, I do think of you, I wonder what are you doing, where are you and how you are going? I think there is this strong bond between us that will never fade, how long will this last and will we ever meet someone better? I don't know...
Maybe if we did part for 6 months, things might be different? Maybe if we did give it a try again, we might be able to get through the obstacles? Maybe....there were so many maybes...but we never took those maybes...
I used to spend time thinking how to want you to love me more, how we can spend quality time together, and how we can build a future. There were goals and aims that I want to work for us. Now, when we are no longer together, these goals do not apply and I am now feeling lost. Where do I want to be? What do I want to do? How can I meet the one? What do I want to achieve? All these questions are running in my mind and sometimes I feel sad that I do not know what I want.
When there are no expectations, we will not be disappointed, but when we do, we often get disappointed. I think that was the main issue in our relationship. I expected a lot out of you.
As long we are happy with what we are now, everything seems good :)
Take care...
I feel there is a heavy burden lifted up from my shoulders when we are no longer together. I think you feel the same as well. We have been carrying these burdens for the last 5 years, and now I have never felt so free and it feels there are so much time around. It's weird how we met 5 years ago, we fell in love, we went through so many ups and downs, and to get through all the obstacles we thought we could. I guess there are some obstacles we can never get pass, you and I know that we will not end up being together forever.
Over the last 3 months, I have been hit with so many different types of emotions. One thing for sure, I have been through the worst, the times when I need to move on and face reality. What does not kill you makes you stronger. Sometimes, I do think of you, I wonder what are you doing, where are you and how you are going? I think there is this strong bond between us that will never fade, how long will this last and will we ever meet someone better? I don't know...
Maybe if we did part for 6 months, things might be different? Maybe if we did give it a try again, we might be able to get through the obstacles? Maybe....there were so many maybes...but we never took those maybes...
I used to spend time thinking how to want you to love me more, how we can spend quality time together, and how we can build a future. There were goals and aims that I want to work for us. Now, when we are no longer together, these goals do not apply and I am now feeling lost. Where do I want to be? What do I want to do? How can I meet the one? What do I want to achieve? All these questions are running in my mind and sometimes I feel sad that I do not know what I want.
When there are no expectations, we will not be disappointed, but when we do, we often get disappointed. I think that was the main issue in our relationship. I expected a lot out of you.
As long we are happy with what we are now, everything seems good :)
Take care...
Friday, May 15, 2009
A new beginning for me
Everyone deserves one that treats them well. I believe there will be one out there for me. Today, I will fill my empty spots with things that matters. You were just someone that passed me by, you are someone I will not want to hold on too. The day I can forget you is the day I have found someone I love and will cherished me for the person I am.
Time is my best tool. I want everyday to pass as quickly as possible, I want my life to have a new beginning. For everyone who knows me, I will want them not to worry, to my parents who has been there supporting me, for my friends who has given me so many advices, for my superior who has been understanding, I appreciate everyone of you support and care. I might have not been myself lately, I did not mean it to happen like that. Sometimes, love just drives you crazy, it can give you the most happy moments but at the same time, it can bring you tears and heartaches. I want to be rational and not emotional, I will learn and use my head to think before doing anything.
Today, mark my new beginning to a new life......
Time is my best tool. I want everyday to pass as quickly as possible, I want my life to have a new beginning. For everyone who knows me, I will want them not to worry, to my parents who has been there supporting me, for my friends who has given me so many advices, for my superior who has been understanding, I appreciate everyone of you support and care. I might have not been myself lately, I did not mean it to happen like that. Sometimes, love just drives you crazy, it can give you the most happy moments but at the same time, it can bring you tears and heartaches. I want to be rational and not emotional, I will learn and use my head to think before doing anything.
Today, mark my new beginning to a new life......
Sunday, May 3, 2009
What goes around comes around
Reading my previous posts in this blog reminds me of how I used to spend time expressing myself through this little space. Many things have changed, so many that I don't know where to start. I think blogging is another way a person can express their true self, although not a lot of my friends or love ones know about this blog, but one day, I am sure they will come across it and realized how I feel about my life.
Life is about making plans, achieving the objectives and often, the results might not be the desire ones. You have been part of my life in Australia, no doubt now things are different, I feel that your bond is still very strong in me. I reflected on the past, from the first day we met till the day we came to an end. It's surprise how I feel there is this heavy burden lifted from my shoulders, and I am sure you feel the same, but at the end of the day good memories will remained.
I might not be that strong person you think I am or will ever be, but I am yet to prove to you that you are wrong. I did not give up, but you have made me realized feelings and love is not everything, it doesn't guarantee a future or return. I have spend a considerable amount of time and although I know that one day will never come, I took the risk.
Everyday, I have flashback of us, there are pictures, places, things that often remind me of us. I think this is the phase I have to go through. It hurts, having to hear the person to say things you never thought you would hear, there is this sharp knife pierce right through my heart. That does not mean I am not strong. I have feelings and is emotional, but you once said you loved me for being compassionate.
I want my love for you everyday to grow less.
I want you to know you gave up on us.
I want to learn not to hate you.
I want to stop seeing you.
I want myself to be happy
I will move on ....
Life is about making plans, achieving the objectives and often, the results might not be the desire ones. You have been part of my life in Australia, no doubt now things are different, I feel that your bond is still very strong in me. I reflected on the past, from the first day we met till the day we came to an end. It's surprise how I feel there is this heavy burden lifted from my shoulders, and I am sure you feel the same, but at the end of the day good memories will remained.
I might not be that strong person you think I am or will ever be, but I am yet to prove to you that you are wrong. I did not give up, but you have made me realized feelings and love is not everything, it doesn't guarantee a future or return. I have spend a considerable amount of time and although I know that one day will never come, I took the risk.
Everyday, I have flashback of us, there are pictures, places, things that often remind me of us. I think this is the phase I have to go through. It hurts, having to hear the person to say things you never thought you would hear, there is this sharp knife pierce right through my heart. That does not mean I am not strong. I have feelings and is emotional, but you once said you loved me for being compassionate.
I want my love for you everyday to grow less.
I want you to know you gave up on us.
I want to learn not to hate you.
I want to stop seeing you.
I want myself to be happy
I will move on ....
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