Where is my timing and LUCK?

I am currently really stress with the job hunts! I have been working 5 days in a row over the weekend, and finally, when I have a day off from all the stress, I am loaded with all these interviews and job hunting dilemma. This morning, I did not get to sleep in, having to wake up as early as 8.30 am, to attend an interview in St Kilda Road, and another one on Elizabeth St. Nothing major or great about it because these interviews are conducted with the recruitment agents, and more of catching up on where I want to head to. Seriously, I sometimes don't have a clue what I can do or want to do! Does anyone out there feel the same? Or am I abnormal?

I have another interview with a company in Collingwood this Thursday and I have to work. This what I call work dilemma, because I hate to lie and I will never get to sleep or rest nicely when I know am about to lie. There are 3 options, to not go to work on Thursday, call in sick, which is the most common thing to do, or create an emergency story and take Thursday off, or do a swap with one of my colleagues this week and next week. I am trying to stay away from the sickie because I know how it feels to call in sick early in the morning pretending and then leaving the team with one less people to work, knowing this week will be really busy. I think. I will go with the second option, tomorrow first thing at work, I will just say my cousin is in the hospital (touchwood) "Chinese believe of not happening", I need to take a day off. Or worst come to worst I will swap with my workmate. I worry so much even before it happens, tonight I am not going to be able to sleep.

It sucks knowing how much time and effort spent in looking for the right job, and in the end, not having it will really make me devastated! Job hunting is all about the right timing and luck and for all these years, where the hell are my right timing and luck? Can anyone tell me? All these time spending time being interviewed by agents, and they are working so slow, and taking it easy, but they are frank letting me know it's not impossible but it's hard to find a job within the head office environment given the fact I don't have admin or head office experience. It takes time, god knows how long!

Sometimes, I feel I regret not taking the right step when I graduated from Marketing back in Monash. What is the point having such a good university name, and paying so much for the degree, when in the end I am stuck at doing what I am doing now, retail. At the end of the day, is all about the experience, it can bring you to where you want to be, but not a degree. What is the point of studying in the first place? Maybe I am just getting a little impatient with all these, I want to be sure the next job I looked for, will be the one for me, will make me stay longer than my past working experience. Don't get me wrong, I do like my job, but just not the environment and the pay and of course the no weekends issue. I am looking for the same passion I have for fashion, but looking at a better working environment, or is there such thing as a healthy working environment?

Right now at this moment, I know how important is it to always make the right decision in your career, when you start young at a right place, you will not have problem moving on, but when you start at a different phase, and wanting to take a step back to where you want to, it's not impossible but it's very hard. I am feeling it right now.

Time for Reflection

It's been a while since I last updated, and I have to admit, I had many things happening but at the same time, I am just too lazy to blog about it, sometimes you just want to keep everything to yourself and let it pass like it never happened. It's nearly a month since I last blogged and I know some of you out there are getting tired and bored with my blog, but I will try to blog as much as possible, probably on how my life is getting on at the moment.

Let's start of with work, I guess I can never say anything nice about work, so typical, but this week, work is not as hectic, and I am feeling fine. For the last 3 weeks, I have been feeling stress with work, I don't know what I am stressed about, but there was a point in time, I felt like leaving Gucci right away, without looking for another job, ironic but it's true. I guess I do get annoyed when I have to work weekends, but the worst experience is not able to have a good night sleep, I have been having sleepless nights, and it's bad for my skin and body. I think it's the bed, I need to change the mattress, or maybe I am just thinking too much before I fall asleep. Life goes on, I am hunting for a new job, not an intensive one, but step by step I guess. If I want a job that suits me and let me learn, an office base role, no weekends and out of retail, I need more time and patient and believe I can. Or I should be less choosy, picky or petty, but at the same time, I need to choose the best and not get stuck at a job I hate. Whatever, life goes on.....

Whenever I feel sad, or breaking down, or leaving, life goes on. I find myself too emotional, in anything I face or handle in life, I worry too much, to a point I feel I worry and not do anything to help myself. Recently, I have been thinking about home, I miss home so much. There are times, I think what it would be like to be in Malaysia, will I be contented, sad or just plain happy? I miss my friends, my home, my family and I guess after 4.5 years here, I still can't call Melbourne my home. I wonder if I will ever go back to Malaysia and stay there for the rest of my life? The grass always look greener on the other side, that is what my friends think. Everyone back in Malaysia can't wait to come to Aus to work and start their life, but as for me I am curious to go back and give it a try.

Anyway, during my stay here in Melbourne, I have met a few wonderful friends, whom I feel comfortable sharing my feelings and problems with. It's hard to find friends that click during this age, when everyone has their own lives, partners and work. I am blessed to have my good friends standby me through out my sad times, and who are willing to listen.

I am 25 this year, going on 26, life is short, why not treasure everyone you have, every second, making the best out of it. This will be the motto of my life.